Framing the Issues in Your Divorce

Mediation is rarely unsuccessful when spouses choose to enter voluntary private divorce mediation. In the United States, national settlement rates for divorce are usually between 90-97%. When mediation fails in the few cases where it does, this is usually because couples cannot come to an agreement on a final issue but they have settled all of their other issues through mediation. In these cases, the spouses can choose whether to use another mediator or an arbitrator in order to avoid going to court. In rare cases, couples will go to court if their issues are not resolved through mediation.

The divorce process is not easy. However, mediation can help to reduce the stress. You don’t have to endure a horrible experience! You and your partner will likely not agree on everything. It will require effort and concentration to reach a mutually satisfactory agreement. You may encounter bumps divorce mediation along the way, but an experienced mediator can guide you.

Take care of yourself throughout the mediation process. Self-care will help you and your kids get through the divorce process with as little stress as possible. Balance out your stress – you have the right to care for yourself.

Do something to bring you peace after each meeting. If it makes you happy, go for a run. Give yourself some time to relax and read. Try not to focus on issues between meetings. Focus on something else, and try to not have the divorce on your mind every day. It’s easier said than done.

Interest-based negotiations seek to help spouses understand the interests of each other. The interests are the things that each spouse needs and wants, as well as why. What do you hope for, that makes you want to have this item? What is it that you are afraid of, that makes you want this?

When couples engage in negotiation and discuss their concerns, they often discover that they share common interests. It is then a question of how to create agreements that satisfy both their personal and shared interests. Most often, when people approach negotiations in this way with thought and consideration, they can reach an agreement that meets both their individual and common interests.

Mediation is a far better option for spouses than litigation. Attorneys can argue about positions that are extreme and superficial in litigation. Both spouses usually feel like they’ve lost when this win-or-lose mentality is used. Understand your interests before you enter a mediation meeting to prepare for successful negotiations. Understand not just what you desire, but also why.

Even when dealing with a Narcissist, mediation is an effective and viable option. The expertise of the mediator is crucial in stopping the spouse with narcissistic tendencies from manipulating proceedings. The mediator must set very clear boundaries. The mediator must diffuse any intimidation or manipulation tactics in such a way as to appear impartial and remain impartial.

Flat fees are paid in one lump sum and the professional does not charge per hour. This can allow spouses to have more control over fees and be more predictable. This can provide financial stability when spouses are most in need. The spouses feel relieved when they know the amount that will be paid and don’t rush to complete the divorce process to avoid fees. The divorce mediation process shouldn’t be rushed.

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